I can see her eyes full of tears as she texts me of another miscarriage. Her body goes through the process, and she feels hopelessly out of control.

I feel her panic as she searches for answers that might give healing to her family; her desperation to rest before the next challenge begins. Back-to-back the situations come, leaving her whip-lashed and reeling.

My heart aches as my oldest asks about his great grandfather, one that he won’t meet on this earth. How I wanted that meeting to happen, how I long for my grandfather to be here with us.

***

Pain.

We run from it. We don’t want to be uncomfortable, or in pain. Especially the deep pain, the times that split a heart in two and leave a void… the pain that stabs intensely, the pain that dulls to a never-ending ache, the pain that always serves as a reminder.

God tells us He is in everything, always present (Psalm 46:1). Always present - in the pain as well. Hebrews tells us He sympathizes with our weaknesses (4:15), and the Gospels show us that He understands pain. He wept for a friend, had compassion on families with sick children. Beyond that, He endured more hardship than we will know. He was betrayed by a man who was close to him, beaten by those He came to save, hung on a cross and left to die. The wrath of God was poured out on Him - so that those of us who trust in Him will never have to experience it; He took our pain.

He knows pain.

We can go on building up anger and bitterness as we face pain. We can shake our fists at what we perceive to be unjust, even blaming Him for it all. We can run from it, shove it down, refuse to face or deal with it. We can nurse the pain to obsession, and become a victim and be miserable.

Or - we can seek Him amidst the pain.

What if, in the midst of the overwhelming pain - what if that’s where we grow to know our Maker even better? What if that’s where He can show Himself stronger to us, where He can show just how completely He can comfort? What if the pain serves ultimately to bring us joy and greater trust?

“If I say, ‘My foot slips,’
Your mercy, O Lord, will hold me up.
In the multitude of my anxieties within me,
Your comforts delight my soul.” -Psalm 94:18-19

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.” -2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Pain is not without purpose, friend. Even if that purpose, as far as we can tell, is solely that we would know Him better. I encourage you (and myself) to lean in; fight the urge to run or harbor bitterness. Seek your Lord, desperately. Cry out to Him on the bathroom floor, let the tears fall in the car and ask Him to comfort you. He is more capable to hold and to heal and strengthen than we know - but may we seek to know!

Someday, this promise will come to pass:

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” -Revelation 21:4

But for now, may we know this intimately:

“Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” -Psalm 73:25-26

Amen!

-Amy

Listen: It Is Well With My Soul