Lord, You know the pull I’ve been feeling.

The pull to slow down, to stop even… to let some things go. I’ve tried in the past; I’ve let things go, rearranged my schedule, tried to rest more. But I still wonder, am I doing too much?

And if so, what things do I lessen? What things do I stop? How, Lord, do I go about any of that?

You remind me:

"But we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more; that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, that you may walk properly toward those who are outside, and that you may lack nothing." 1 Thessalonians 4:10b-12

Lead a quiet life.

"the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things — that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5

Love and follow Josh. Love Levi and Caleb. Be discreet, chaste, a homemaker.

Lord, is that enough?

Is it enough to serve my husband and my children, to raise the kids, to keep our home and manage schedules?

It sounds so silly, but what if I have free time? Shouldn’t I fill it with things after Your heart? Ministry, things at church, even making some extra money so I can supplement our income and support my missionary friends?

It seems like too much. But I also don’t feel like enough. Lord, guide me and help me to keep my eyes fixed on You. You know how often I compare, and how unsettled I can become. Yet I only want what You want, Lord - so show me.

Lead a quiet life. Love your husband, love your children, keep your home.

Maybe that really is sufficient? Maybe that is what will bring You the most glory?

***

The above is a version of a prayer I prayed for months. An ongoing conversation with God, trying to sort out what He wanted for me and our family in this season. I share because, well, we all wrestle don’t we? We all wonder what God wants for us. Where He wants us. What we should be doing.

Sometimes answers come quickly, and sometimes they don’t. But one thing that will always guide us in the moment (current and future) is Scripture. It’s there immediately. And whatever Scripture says for Christians to do, that’s what we should do. When we’re faithful to His Word, other pieces fall into place.

Over time, I’ve come to realize many things. One of those things being that free time is good time. You might’ve laughed at that part of my prayer, or maybe you’re wondering the same thing. Our time should be used wisely, yes? Yes. And rest is a wise use of time. It equips us to continue going with all the other necessities - the effort into our marriages, the countless meals to prepare and serve and clean up, the disciplining of our kids and the adventures with them, the laundry and mopping and organizing. There’s nothing wrong with sitting down at naptime to read a book or paint a canvas or call a friend.

Love your husband, love your children, keep your home.

One other thing I’ve learned is that life is full of seasons. And this season with children at home is a season focused on nurturing our family. There is absolutely no guilt in that, it’s what God designed. There certainly are other things we can do at the same time, and each one of us is given our own limits and abilities. It will look different for each of us - but there are also seasons coming in which some tasks/hobbies/careers/etc. will fit better. We can do a whole lot of things - just not all at the same time. And that’s good!

May this encourage you, friend. This whole process has certainly led me closer to my Lord and Savior, and I pray the bit that I’ve shared in this post will lead you closer to Him as well.

-Amy