Weeks ago some symptoms started to worsen. Pain comes and stays with no sign of how long it will occupy that area of my body. Slowly I have become more equipped and educated, adding books to my library of health resources and bottles to our stock of remedies. With supplies ready, I braced myself to ride it out.

One hard weekend passed, and I came back up for air. The busyness of teaching littles and washing dishes and running errands kept my mind occupied, distracted from the discomfort. A flare here and a flare there. Then another rough weekend, what is it about weekends?! (Praise the Lord, many of the hardest stretches are when my husband is home from work.) The pain intensified and I looked for things to be grateful for. Yet my mind began to spiral.

What could this mean? Why is this an issue again?

For over a decade, I didn’t know I was sick. But now that I'm working to heal, it’s as though aches and pains keep coming out of the woodwork. In many ways I’ve gotten sicker before any progress has been made. Turns out, healing isn’t linear.

This pain is new. Where is it coming from? What if — I can’t go there. But I’m going to go there… What do I do? Who do I ask for help?

Problems arise and I don’t have answers. I seek answers. And then… I find myself relying on those [human] answers to maintain my peace. How can I have peace when I could have a tumor? Or another disease? Or nothing, but not know it? How can I walk through suffering well - what does that look like?

In dark hours, my thoughts swirl and go down rabbit trails that should be closed off. Easily and quickly I’ve found myself magnifying the problems. Magnifying fears. Bigger and bigger they appear as I try to shove down the anxiety that’s stuck in my throat. And then like a little spark - into the dark shadows of my mind - comes a ray of light: magnify the Lord.

How do I suffer chronically and not focus on the pain? How do I manage these headaches, or wait for the dizziness to lessen, or bear with the stabbing pain in my neck - and not let them consume my thoughts? How do I not fear the symptoms that may arise next week? What else is there to think of, than these physical problems? And if I think of something else, am I ignoring the problem? being foolish or ignorant or irresponsible?

In Scripture, David says:

"Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
And let us exalt His name together."
Psalm 34:3

And then also, Paul commands us to rejoice in all things:

“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!”
Philippians 4:4

The commands are to magnify the Lord, and to rejoice in Him. Do we then ignore the struggles? No, not at all. The struggles and circumstances are real, yet He tells us that even in them we can fix our eyes on Him.

Our pastor preached on Philippians 4:4 last week, and I smiled. I knew I wasn’t the only one in the sanctuary who needed the reminder to rejoice, and yet I thanked the Lord for getting me to church that morning to teach me further. Rejoicing should happen in sickness, and in health; when days are easy and when they’re hard; when life is clean with a pretty bow and when it’s messy in a heap. At all times, rejoice!

Over and over - daily - the Lord reminds me to magnify Him and rejoice. And I have found, over and over - daily - that He is sufficient. Often I ask myself, what am I magnifying? Is it pain and problems, or is it the Lord and His nature? It takes training, but we can learn to magnify Him in all things.

In this particular season, I’ve found that He is sufficient to lead me to answers and remedies when I need them. He is sufficient to give me His peace that surpasses all understanding and that wraps me in His comforting arms. This peace is not dependent on circumstances, it is dependent on an unchanging God and is therefore much richer and deeper than we can fathom. He is sufficient to take my load, my burdens, and give me joy. And He is sufficient to do it all again the next day, and the next and the next.

What a treasure we have in the Lord! What a gift, that He would make Himself readily available for all our needs at all times of all days! What a wonderful Father He is, who wants us to understand His nature and be made more into His likeness. He gives us life and He sustains it. Everything, all of it, is for His glory and our good.

You may not be dealing with physical problems; maybe you are having a hard time with other things. Or maybe you are in a season where there are minimal stressors and most days are joyful. If so, praise the Lord! And if not, still praise the Lord! Friend, if you are struggling with your thoughts and what you focus on, begin to magnify the Lord. Rejoice in Him. There is always something to praise Him for. There is always a way to magnify Him above other things. As you practice this, you will find that you are more joyful, days are more lovely, life is more abundant. May He always be praised!

“The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Psalm 23

You can listen to this Psalm here; this rendition is one of our family’s favorites!