Do you ever find yourself lonely? Physically, and spiritually? Over and over I have read comments and desperate pleas for advice from moms who find themselves struggling to cope with their current loneliness. The past year+ of shut downs and restrictions has amplified the isolation many of us are feeling, though I wonder how many were already familiar with loneliness.

Even before 2020, we may have had challenges of finding friends we “click” with. We may have struggled finding groups for our children to spend time with, or other moms we can talk to beyond a surface chit chat. And now, in our current upheaval of “normal,” we are seeing the Church being sifted and people choose whether or not they will hold fast to Scripture. I don’t know about you, but this has been the hardest part for me – seeing so many friends and acquaintances walk away from the Lord and embrace our culture’s wickedness. It’s heartbreaking, and while it doesn’t necessarily mean the end of friendships it does cause separation to one degree or another.

We can often find ourselves in seasons of loneliness. And it begs the question – what to do?

One morning I was reading 1 Kings and the chapters for the day were so fitting. Chapters 17-19 share some of Elijah’s life, and his work for the Lord. God used him to do miracles and save lives! He walked closely with the Lord and was obedient to Him. Yet he was lonely and hard-pressed, and finally begged God to just let him die. “It is enough!” he cried (19:4). “I have been very zealous for the Lord God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life” (19:10).

Who else but the Lord can refresh us? He took Elijah out of his cave, and showed Himself to him. He told him what was to come, and then reassured him: “Yet I have reserved seven thousand in Israel, all whose knees have now bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him” (19:18). Elijah was not actually alone.

We need to remember this in regard to our own lives. We may feel lonely, and things can look bleak, but the Lord always saves a remnant. There are always other faithful believers who have not bowed to pagans, who will hold fast to Scripture and refuse to deny their Savior. They may not be in our neighborhoods, or even in our counties – but they exist, spread out where the Lord has placed them. We are in good company.

With that in mind, here are other actions I hope you will find helpful:

Read the Word and pray – We know this! Wallow not; be fed by His Word, then get up and do the next thing. Pray all day as you go about your tasks. You will find He is an ever present, close Companion.
Keep friendships in healthy perspective – The Lord is good to bring friends in due season. Sometimes those seasons don’t last long, sometimes they last decades. Sometimes friends overlap seasons, sometimes they don’t. Yet we can trust that He knows what He’s doing with us, and with our friends. Learn to cherish them but not hold them too closely. Friends are not our end-all; only He can satisfy as a Friend who knows us better than anyone else.
Get to know people – Holding friendships loosely doesn’t mean not having any at all, or not trying to build some! But instead of trying to find people that fit your criteria, work to get to know the people around you. Be a multi-generational friend, not an only-my-age friend. We learn from and can be edified by people of all ages and backgrounds. This may be a challenge right now, but I also encourage you to get together with people and build relationships. It’s a necessity! Go to church, get together with other believers to pray, host someone for dinner. Make it happen.
Journal – write everything out. I have kept a journal for close to two decades, and I can testify to how helpful it is. Putting all of your thoughts on paper can help you sort through them. Looking back may be cringy (it really is), but it is a testimony to God’s goodness for carrying you and growing you. It is a private space to pour your thoughts and emotions out to the Lord, and it brings maturity!
Read biographies of other Christians – there are so many! I recently finished Becoming Elisabeth Elliot by Ellen Vaughn; highly recommend it. A Chance to Die is another great one; it’s a biography about Amy Carmichael by Elisabeth Elliot. Read about Gladys Aylward, missionary to China. Read Found Faithful by Elizabeth Skoglund, a compilation of stories about Charles Spurgeon, CS Lewis, Amy Carmichael, Ruth Bell Graham, Andrew Murray, and others. Reading about others who have gone before us is so encouraging and inspiring. They will remind you of the greatness of our God and leave you knowing you’re not alone in this marathon of faith!

Ultimately, we know that our loneliness and challenges are temporary. We endure for a moment in the grand scheme of things. Our God is forever on His throne, and darkness cannot overcome His light.

Even in your loneliness, keep your eyes firmly fixed on His Word. There you will find satisfaction for your soul. May we be the remnant, and the remnant that multiplies.