God's Goodness in Miscarriage
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You've never failed me yet
I know the night won't last
Your Word will come to pass
My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus, You're still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again
The song started, and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep it together. “You have never failed me yet…” I started to cry, I could barely believe the words that were being sung - let alone sing them myself.
I left the sanctuary, ran into the parents’ room, and found two tiny babies playing with their moms. I couldn’t stay there. I left the room and stood at the door. God wanted me to worship. Even if I wasn’t singing, I needed to hear these words.
Just two days prior to this Sunday service, I had been in the hospital for a Dilation and Curettage. I had miscarried at 16 weeks. We unexpectedly went to my OB earlier in the week to see the dark ultrasound, the spot where the baby’s heart was no longer beating.
I felt failed by God. My womb that had been filled with joy and life was now empty, and so was I. Sadly, I had already been in this place before. In between the births of my two sons, I had also experienced a late-term miscarriage.
Loss is nearly impossible to understand. Feelings of shame, regret, fear, anger, and guilt are all normal. If you’re in the midst of this, let yourself feel these emotions. Rely on God to reveal Himself in the midst of it all.
Most verses of comfort I would seek also made me angry. Like James 1:17, which says, “Everything good comes from God.” How is this GOOD? It is really hard to process through verses like this, but that’s just it; it is a part of the process, and that is GOOD.
This verse popped up on my Instagram feed several days after my loss while working on this article. God clearly spoke to me, not something I have personally experienced too often.
He reminded me that losing a child is not good, but He is good. He does not promise me a life without struggles, but He promises me a life where He will see me through these trials, and that IS good. Glorifying him through this loss is GOOD. I will see my angel babies again, and that is GOOD.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
For me, good looks like being open with my losses - speaking at moms’ groups, sharing my story in this article. Talking with a nursing friend who wants to support grieving moms in the hospital setting. Having compassion and understanding for loss, that I wouldn’t have without the experience of loss myself. This is GOOD. God is in this. He is GOOD.
Find the good, whatever that looks like for you, and give thanks to God for it.
The song continues:
My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus, You’re still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again
The day after that Sunday service, this song played on repeat for me. I sang God’s praises again. He loves me, He loves you, and He loves our children.
Written by Becca Bergman. Used with permission.
Song quoted is “Do It Again” by Elevation Worship.